Since this entire blog has been only my words, I have interviewed somebody with an outside viewpoint in order to get a more diverse opinion. Melissa Coons has a masters degree in psychology as well as a child who is transgender. She works as a school counselor at San Ramon High School in Danville CA. I interviewed her to get a personal opinion on my first blog post called “The Controversy That Started It All” which analyses the cons of the passing of bill C-16 in Canada.

The begins by stating that she “Believes firmly in the value of diversity and inclusion” and that our “society would be much stronger as a whole if each of us respected each others thoughts and beliefs opinions and expressions”. This is a good point, she also adds that transgender people are also “subject to discrimination in the workplace and violence”. She goes on to tell me about her son Ashton who is transgender with extremely good grades has experienced workplace discrimination despite being completely qualified.

In conclusion, she states that although she agrees with my points, that is not reason enough to oppose the C-16 bill. I do not have any problems with this analysis. Transgender people experience a host of hostilities in everyday life which they do not deserve. It is also not helpful to them through any point of view to discriminate them in any way. Coons agrees with the importance of the right of free speech, however sees the right to enter into the pursuit of happiness as a more important one. This is a very popular opinion among most Americans.

As for my opinion on the bill, I have not changed, but rather found a sense of urgency to find another way to prevent discrimination from transgender people and their families.

In the Bible (which I am citing for metaphorical purposes), God spoke the world into existence. He took potential and turned it into fact with his words. This is parallel to the idea that we need speech in order to be able to understand things in our minds. It is the way that we turn things from the unknown into the known. Dr. Peterson gives a good example of this: When your significant other is angry at you for an unknown reason, it manifests as physiological discomfort because the problem is so vague that our minds cannot put it into a box. It only becomes known when you bring the problem up with your significant other. After making it known, we can take what our partner says and turn it into something that we can then digest and figure out a plan to solve it. In other words, we cannot completely comprehend what is not spoken, and we cannot fix what we cannot comprehend. This means that it is important to speak, but not only to speak but to speak clearly and precisely. If our partner does not give a complete answer, or beats around the bush when you ask them what is wrong, then there is no way to fix the problem.

 

There is a reason that our country gives us the right to free speech. It is because we need to be able to speak about our problems in order to fix them, if our country does not allow us to speak in a way that is truthful and precise, we can fall into macro-deception and despair.

I believe that this is something that most of us already know, but we have not talked about so precisely it yet so we weren’t able to understand how important that it can be (the irony in this is wonderful). It is important for us to understand how important our speech is because then we can know to improve it, and protect it.

In life, we are constantly in the middle of a push-pull battle between order and chaos. When we veer too far into chaos, we become overwhelmed and scared. When we veer too far into order, we become bored and lose confidence/drive. To pursue things that are expedient like drinking alcohol and acting reckless, is diving into the realm of chaos. We are no longer in control of what happens to us when we do things of this nature. Pursuing things like safety and comfort too often can also have just as bad adverse effects because we become complacent and ineffective in our lives. It is all about pursuing things that are meaningful, but we often have trouble understanding what meaning is. Meaning is those small moments where you can think to yourself and say “I’m here right where I should be”. Chaos and order are working together to perfectly stimulate my mind with profound benefit. In other words, meaning is being at a great concert where the band is in perfect harmony with each other and the crowd is in perfect harmony with the band. Everybody is on the same wavelength, and nodding to the same beat. Meaning is when Stephen Curry gets into the zone and hits six three point shots in a row.

The main purpose of profound Religious and philosophical contemplation is to be able to find meaning more often and for longer periods of time. In Asia, the Daoists call this the Dao. Finding the right balance between the Yin and the Yang energies. We could also say that in Christianity, when you pray to God, you find yourself immersed in meaning and joy.

This kind of meaning is very important to us, it is what gives life reason for living. One could look at life as a game in which we are always trying to find the hidden meaning in the jungle of stimuli. This may be one of the most natural instincts that we have as humans. We now have a new and refreshing way to think about it thanks to Dr. Jordan Peterson.

To hear him talk about the subject for himself, go to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a28j1G5OUqY

It may sound simple enough to keep a clean house, but in reality it takes countless amounts of time throughout the week to be able to keep your house in good shape for a long period of time. This is parallel to keeping a clear mind. Many say that when their house is clean, they get less anxiety. This is because of the lack of order (the mess) that they spend time immersed in every day; And like a house, the mind can be filled with a lack of order as well. When peoples minds are cluttered, they cannot think as well because of all of the background waste that fogs up their head. If we learn to put everything in the right drawer, it is out of the way for when we do not need it, but we always know where to find it when we do. Keeping our house in order like this can discipline us, or teach us to treat our thoughts the same way. Another resource about the benefits of keeping your house clean is https://www.elitedaily.com/life/culture/clean-room-clean-mind/1044185

This is also important for another reason. Imagine telling your teenager son to clean up his room, meanwhile your own is a mess. In other words, it is not logical to be able to critique the world that we live in (which almost all of us do) while at the same time not be masters of our own world. Let alone keep our house/mind clean. The Bible puts this in a very nice way in verse Matthew 7:5 “Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye”. It is common knowledge, but we forget constantly of our own faults. If we pay attention to fixing ourselves however, we will not forget that we have our own flaws right along with the rest of the world. If the people who post YouTube comments did this exact thing, YouTube would be a much more peaceful place; Same goes for the world.

This is a brilliant idea from Dr. Peterson, in order to understand it however, we must accept that we are not all good. It is natural for humans to become bitter towards things that do not go our way. As this is a foundation rule, it applies to all aspects of our lives, even our children. When we let our children misbehave, they can embarrasses us horribly which hurts our ego (which everybody has). Dr. Peterson gives the example of a child throwing a temper tantrum at the store. Everybody looks at you and either feels bad for you, or is annoyed by you and your little twerp kid. It is just as natural for the kid to throw a tantrum as it is for you to be embarrassed by it, but that does not change the fact that it is unacceptable in today’s society. If we do not stop out kids from throwing these tantrums, they will keep on doing it which will frustrate you, sometimes beyond tolerable. You may come up with ways to get back at your child. Dr. Peterson gives a good example for this as well. An hour after the child throws a temper tantrum at the store, they have forgotten all about it and may be in a great mood. They may draw a picture that they come to show you. You however, still angry from what happened at the store, may blow the picture off. Instead of congratulating the child for successfully expressing his feelings, you may just say “hmm, interesting” and then turn back  to whatever you were doing before. In your mind, you just got back at them (as terrible as it sounds, it is true) while the kid may just think that his drawing is unimpressive and that maybe he should not try and draw anymore. This is obviously not good for the growth of your kid.

According to Dr. Peterson, instead of letting the tantrum happen, we should take our child somewhere private (back to the car in the instance of the store) and let them have the tantrum. It is natural energy that needs to be let our after all. You can tell them that when they are ready to behave, they can come back into the store and try again. This will let them know that they cannot act the way they do in public in a way that they understand, and that has real consequences. No kid wants to just be stuck in a car pouting.

I have come to especially love the theory that Dr. Peterson has on taking care of children; He understands them. Often when I read his work, I find myself thinking back to my own childhood memories and wishing that my parents had read his book. In my eyes, he hits the nail on the head with this one.

In order to hear Dr. Peterson talk about this topic for himself, visit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MomSzgGY438

This is an important rule because very many people in the world struggle with this. We often compare ourselves to others which makes us feel incompetent and lower in self esteem. The important thing that Dr. Peterson points out is that we cannot accurately compare ourselves to others because we don’t know what is going on in other areas of their life. We could be envious of the person who makes millions of dollars, but we may not know that they have no family and are actually miserable because of this. Instead of comparing ourselves to somebody else, it makes much more sense to compare ourselves with who we were yesterday because it is a viable comparison. Comparing ourselves to who we were yesterday is great because it calls for self improvement. We can tell ourselves that we will work a little harder each day at something and it will be an obtainable goal that we always have the power to meet. If we do this every day for a month, a year or even ten years, we will see real improvement that we can feel good about. This will make us more confident and encourage us to keep on improving.

Setting obtainable goals is a well known technique for being successful in consistently reaching them. People who look to others for comparison have little chance in successfully manifesting their skills in their own life. If we see to make ourselves better instead, we will be able to consistently set obtainable goals that we will be able to tackle and overcome. It also helps us to not focus on people who are doing better than us as much, because we will then be able to focus on improving our own skills. In other words, we should focus on the things that we can control instead of worrying about the things that we cannot control. For more information on which goals we should be setting for the most potential success, check out https://seapointcenter.com/set-the-right-goals/

 

This is one one of the less ambiguous statements that Dr. Peterson has made. If you make friends with people who don’t want the best for you, they will likely be a bad influence in your life. They may be secretly hoping that you fail, or they may encourage bad habits. An example that Dr. Peterson gives has to do with quitting smoking. If you are trying to quit cigarettes while all of your friends cant quit themselves, if they do not care about what is best for you, they may offer you a cigarette. Deep down, they don’t want you to quit smoking because it gives off the impression that you are better than all of them. A good friend in this situation would not offer a cigarette, but may try to not smoke around you as much in order to help you along your journey. They care more about your well being than any kind of image that it puts on themselves. This creates a trusting and fruitful partnership which is one of the cornerstones of human mental health. In short, having friends that want the best for you will help you to grow and become a better, healthier version of yourself.

It is commonly said that people are reflection of who they choose to be their friends. I like Peterson’s rule a lot because humans are social animals. We feed off of each others energy constantly. Anything that is constantly effecting you will have a big impact over time. In the example given by Dr. Peterson, it can be the difference between dying a painful early death of lung cancer and living to see your grandchildren grow up to become young adults. When explained in a way that shows the true possible outcomes of the people you choose to hang around, the choice becomes much more clear and motivating.

 

To hear it from Peterson himself, check out his interview with Dave Rubin: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGMK017B9-A

 

According  to Dr. Peterson, people are better at administering the proper medication needed to a pet than they are themselves. Humans tend to put less value to themselves than what is due. This may go back to the story of Adam and Eve. The idea that we are not good enough and would have to change our lives completely in order to walk with God is all to real to the bulk of us. Thus, we do not treat ourselves with the same care that we should/could.

Treating yourself as somebody that you are responsible for helping is more complex than one may think. It doesn’t involve doing what one wants, but instead what is needed. Humans are adventure based creatures, we get life from living dangerously. If we spend too much of our time indoors, in a safe environment, we tend to lose self confidence. If we spend the day outside doing things and learning through experience, although there is the possibility of danger involved, we get confidence and satisfaction out of it. In real world terms, this means not shying away from challenges. Getting out of the comfort zone and going into the unknown is very important to the health of a human mind. Even so however, we must also be careful not to go too far into the unknown as it may consume us and give us anxiety and be too much to handle. Humans must keep one foot inside the comfort zone and one foot outside in order to keep a balance between the two. It is about giving ourselves the proper amount of challenge to be able to grow, but not enough to where we cannot handle it.

This is a very impressive way of explaining the basic needs of a human mind. We are wired to grow and become stronger and more competent so it makes sense that we would get our gratification from doing that. I have implemented this rule in my life since high school football. My coach always preached about growing from overcoming adversity. I have done this habitually ever since then, and I owe most of my character virtues from doing this. If this is something that is not present in somebody’s life, I would highly suggest focusing on it.

If you find yourself to be one of those people that need help getting out of your comfort zone, there is no need to worry. The following is a list of 52 different ways to get the ball rolling https://www.success.com/52-ways-to-get-out-of-your-comfort-zone/ with so many things to try, there will be something for everybody.

 

Jordan Peterson (thankfully) decided that he needed to tell the world about his knowledge on psychology and the implications of using it to your advantage in real life. He wrote a book called 12 Rules for Life which can be bought at https://www.amazon.com/12-Rules-Life-Antidote-Chaos/dp/0345816021. In this book, he addresses what he considered to be the most important things that a person can do in order to be healthy, happy, and strong. The first rule in the book is (simple enough) stand up straight and put your shoulders back. Although this may be a simple task, it has massive pros that go along with it.

Lobsters show their sense of self esteem by the way they carry themselves with their posture. A lobster who just won a fight against another lobster will stand up tall with his claws out for everybody to see. A lobster who lost a fight however, will put its claws down and whimper away. This is to show other lobsters their current status in the social dominance hierarchy. The same thing goes for humans as well. When a human feels defeated, they will put their head down and roll their shoulders forward (protecting vital organs from possible attack). If a human makes a point to walk with their head up and shoulders back, it will signal to the brain that the person is victorious and will boost serotonin levels making the person feel more confident and ready to take on the world. Since confidence is key in this day and age, this can be a very useful tactic to use on a day to day basis.

This is essentially the “fake it till you make it” theory. If you pretend to be confident for long enough, you really will become more confident. The body and mind take queues from each other all of the time. If we hack those queues, we can manipulate our mind and body to give ourselves the chance for optimal performance in life.

Two years ago in Canada, bill C-16 was passed making it illegal to refuse service, employment or any other benefits based on gender or sexuality (which makes sense). The bill also, however, makes it illegal for a professor to use a gender pronoun that is different from which a student identifies with. (For more information, visit https://openparliament.ca/bills/42-1/C-16/) On paper this makes sense as a good moral code that people should be following. This did not sit well with Dr. Jordan Peterson however who gives many reasons as to why this would be a bad law. Peterson explains that people should not expect to meet new people with a sense of mutual respect, but instead a display of “mutual alert neutrality”. This essentially means that in human nature, one earns respect after multiple fruitful interactions rather than right away. It doesn’t make sense to give somebody respect before getting to know a little bit about who they are because they could be undeserving of respect. It is encoded in our evolution to be somewhat weary of somebody before you know who they are. Introducing a bill that contradicts human social nature is far from predictable. People would likely find ways around the rule or some other variable would come in to play that we would have no way of knowing about before hand.

The other principle reason that Peterson gives is that the law infringes on free speech. If a transgender person and an Evangelical Christian were to meet, there would likely be a contradiction of beliefs. The transgender person would want to be called by the pronoun that they identify with while the Christian would want to call the transgender by their original pronoun (keeping true to his Christian faith. Both would be right in this situation, however with the new bill in place, the Christian would be on grounds of breaking the law. This is not the only problem that is encompassed by the free speech point. Throughout history, many dictatorships have risen. The first indicator of a rising dictatorship tends to be infringement on free speech. One a government begins to control the spread of ideas, they tend to picking away until there is little free speech left. Human kind is full of examples like these. Nazi Germany, Fascist Italy, Communist Russia, Communist China, North Korea, ect. have all been great examples of this. We have learned enough times already that free speech is not something to mess with because things get out of control fast.

As for my own opinion on this topic, I regretfully agree with Jordan Peterson. I would love to help advocate love and harmony between all humans. As a history major however, I cannot foresee anything good coming from limiting what people can and cannot say. It suppresses the rights of people to express themselves how they see fit. If this law was passed in America, it would likely be rendered unconstitutional as it would violate the First Amendment. Right or not, this controversy skyrocketed Peterson from being an every day college professor to being a household name in many peoples lives. This also opened the door for Peterson to teach people about his psychological knowledge on growing up, depression, raising children and much more which will be posted on this blog starting next week.

Have a wonderful day, and keep thinking